Adventures in Sedona - Day 20

Doreen Schmidt
Aug 18, 2024
3 min read

Friday, August 17th, 2024. Weight 150, AZ Temp 90° Today's therapies included IV treatments such as the Myer's Cocktail and Glutathione and 15 minutes on the Bemer. AND, my first full day with Jon here to support me. He visited with my naturopathic doc for a while, got a tour of the retreat and walked the Labyrinth. While I was in for treatments, he went out for a hike. Like me, he thought the food was pretty good that first day! Yeah ... just the first day. LOL

The rest of the day was full and fullfilling. It was such a beautiful day so we started out for another hike. It was a 1 1/2 mile walk to the free Sedona Shuttle pick up spot. Sedona has these free shuttles that take you to popular trailheads in the area. It was so slick. When we got there, we only had to wait about 10 minutes for the shuttle to take us to Soldiers Pass Trail. This trail is considered moderately challenging (perfect for beginners) and about 1.6 miles in-an-out with stunning views. It's a popular trail so we encountered other hikers but it was crowded by any means.

About 1/2 mile in, we encountered "Devil's Kitchen", a sinkhole with unknown origins. It's a peculiar site that pics don't do justice to but there's a few here anyway :). Other sites on Soldier Pass Trail are the Seven Sacred Pools, and Soldier Pass Cave. It was absolutely lovely.

When we got back to the Shuttle pick up spot, we wondered how we were going to make it back - we were exhausted and the heat was penetrating well by then. (We were well prepared nonetheless with sunscreen and water). As we waited for the Shuttle, we struck up a conversation with another couple who had just finished the trail as well and learned they were from MN as well. What are the odds! They graciously offered to drive us back to the retreat center. What luck! Or was it? ;)

After lunch and a shower to cool down, we headed to ... you guessed it ... the movies! Hey, what can I say? I'm a movie junkie and what better way to relax out of the heat? This time we saw "It Ends With Us". I'll admit, I hadn't heard much about it other than some of the actors in it and that it hit on the topic of domestic violence/abuse, but, wow, I was blown away. It was really well done. I was surprised by how emotional I got and how it stuck with me long after the end. I've been highly emotional throughout this process, for obvious reasons as well as just the detox process in general and how it affects emotions. But it also touched on some realities for me as it pertains to ending negative generational cycles that we didn't ask for.

One of things I almost never talk about is the verbal abuse and neglect that created a lifetime of stress and trauma for me. How hard I've worked and, am still working, to move past that and begin to love myself and believe I'm worthy and deserving of good things. And how hard I work to be a parent that is the opposite of the parent I had and how I was treated with my own child. I want my son to know how proud I am of him, how intelligent and worthy and creative he is. I want him to be the amazing human he is meant to be and will always encourage and support him. I never heard those words I so desperately needed to hear. I needed to end that cycle.

I'm sure I will hit upon this more in the future as I navigate through that part of my healing journey, but it absolutely was a generational cycle. My dad was physically and mentally abused as a child. He dealt with that abuse through creating a persona of grandeur, mentally abusing and suppressing my mother and verbally abusing us kids. We all have our stories. This one is mine to tell one of these days. And while I don't feel I need to forgive him, as many say they must do in order to move forward, I have moved passed the anger and pain, and, I do understand him. Our relationship was never reconciled before his death. And I'm okay with that.

Wow, thank you for letting me get really deep there. It wasn't easy but it does help.